5 key habits beyond self-awareness that boost self-improvement.

Image for post
Image for post
Gdegermain/unsplash

Turn on the TV or jump online and we’re bombarded with quick fixes on how to get to know ourselves, or how to level up in our self-improvement game. These are all fine and dandy, but they’re not enough.

And let’s face it, in today’s world we’re challenged more than ever to perform at top-notch with everything — career, family, friends, education, self-improvement and with our significant other.

It’s not enough to put in our eight hours at…


How attachment and needs affect esteem & 5 proven ways to boost it.

Image for post
Image for post
rdonar/shuttersrock

The formal study of self-esteem has only been around for about a century and a half, starting with early theorists like psychologist William James. This doesn’t mean we didn’t have self-esteem before we started studying it, we just didn’t have a name for it and didn’t know how to identify it.

In James’ theory, self-esteem is based on our actual behavior — what we do habitually — or in…


How unmet safety needs affect our relationships.

Image for post
Image for post
msan/shutterstock

We’ve all done it.

Some of us may have done it once or a few times before recognizing the self-sabotaging consequences, so walking away from the cycle and taking the lessons with us becomes our mantra.

Others may do it and not be aware if it. For them, their emotional wall may go up about the same time their fears of vulnerability…


The process of growing emotionally…and the #1 thing that has to happen.

Image for post
Image for post
FVerrecchia/Unsplash

Have you ever had someone tell you to “Just get over it”, or to have a “Stiff upper lip”? Most of us have at one time or another, which is usually the last thing we want to hear.

We may have had our heart handed to us from a narcissistic discard, or gotten tangled up with a “friend” who found pleasure in pouring salt on an open wound.

We may be battling a health diagnosis or other stressful life transitions…


How to get your needs met while meeting theirs.

Image for post
Image for post
artbescouro/Shutterstock

I write regularly about attachment styles because they are critical for how we view ourselves and others, whether we become emotionally invested, and how our attachment style affects us throughout our lives.

How we relate to others plays out subliminally in how we feel about ourselves, how present we remain in our relationships and in our relationship history.

Most importantly, our attachment style affects the quality of our relationships.

If…


Knowing whether it’s self-preservation or if they’re just not interested.

Image for post
Image for post
Kieferpix/Shutterstock

The excitement of a new relationship always has us psyched. We’re sleeping less, we’ve got more energy on reserve and our S.O. is constantly running through our mind.

The novelty of a new relationship can feel like the antidote for just about any ailment we have:

Feeling run down? Nothing beats a massage and a dip in the hot tub with our S.O.

Don’t want to cook tonight? There’s nothing better than takeout and bingeing our favorite video game together.

Stressed…


If your focus is happiness, this is how to best achieve it.

Image for post
Image for post
kdeguia/unsplash

Having a positive mindset when life hands us lemons can be a good thing. Actually, it’s pretty amazing. I wouldn’t have made it through the last couple years of school if I hadn’t remained somewhat positive and focused on the goal in light of bullshit, traumatic events and academic pressures.

Examining psychology through a more positive lens first began with humanists like Abraham Maslow and his theory of self-actualization and Carl Rogers’ client-centered therapy which focuses on embracing our authentic…


Or if you’re merely a placeholder.

Image for post
Image for post
fshutter/shutterstock

If you’re like some, then you probably didn’t grow up being taught how to find the perfect partner or how to be the perfect partner. Besides, no one is perfect and the sooner we let go of illusions of perfection and idealizations, trust me when I say, the happier we’ll be.

The fact is, if you weren’t being taught self-love, a healthy attachment with others and a healthy relationship…


Understanding how it affects self-identify and relationships.

Image for post
Image for post
geralt/pixabay

I want to give due respect to explaining the Disorganized attachment, as it’s often the least discussed of the four main attachment styles. A Disorganized attachment is also known as Anxious-Avoidant or Fearful-Avoidant, and is said to fall along the far ends of the spectrum as a combination of both Anxious and Avoidant attachment styles.

Disorganized attachment is perhaps the most in need of supportive resources and understanding because of its impact on those battling it. …


5 key ways to increase your autonomy

Image for post
Image for post
Jearle/Unsplash

In Ralph Waldo Emerson’s essay titled “Self-Reliance”, he argues that to be self-reliant, we need to stay true to ourselves while shunning conformity and relying on our own abilities in times of adversity.

Makes sense, right?

A self-reliant person should be able to handle their own needs. They should know when to make adjustments as needed and to continue striving for individualism by trusting themselves, their judgement and their intuition.

Yet, nearly two centuries after Emerson’s essay…

Annie Tanasugarn, PhD

PhD, Psychology, Behavior Analyst & Certified Life Coach. Helping empower warriors with a little badassery. #INFJ. Coffee lover. Screamo/Emo music lover. 🎸🎶 ☕

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store