6 ways to help restore a sense of safety after trauma

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Experiencing a traumatic event can be one of the most life-changing (or life-shattering) things we go through. Any event that triggers a fight/flight/freeze response has the potential to flip our lives upside down. When a single event is exponentially increased, along with repeatedly feeling fight/flight/freeze — you can find yourself at risk for developing complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (cPTSD).

There’s been longstanding controversy surrounding cPTSD since Dr. Judith Lewis Herman first proposed…


Are you distracting yourself from growth?

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Carl Jung is one of the most influential theorists on psychoanalysis of our time.

His theories on archetypes, and especially our “Shadow” self are explained as what lies within our unconscious — all the parts of our personality we deny or distract ourselves from.

Our Ego is what is vying for control to keep the content of our “shadow” hidden.


Understanding and recognizing a relationship bonded by trauma.

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Most of us have probably all heard the words, Trauma Bond. If you’re lucky, you’ve never experienced its mindfuck and heartfuck.

If you aren’t so lucky, then you are probably familiar with how it starts, why it starts and the push-pull that’s created because of it.

We know the obvious signs of a traumatic bonding. For example, everyone is always walking on eggshells.


4 subtle signs that identify an insecurely attached relationship.

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Some call it walking on eggshells. Some might say it’s toxic. And others, will call it the push-pull dance. Whatever label we choose to slap on it, two things always ring true:

  1. Our earliest experiences shaped our current habits.
  2. Several motivations always underlie our behavior, even if we’re not consciously aware of them.

Recognizing what motivates us to keep cycling back to what’s comfortable and familiar…


The behavior behind-the-scenes & stopping the cycle.

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I write a lot about push-pull relationships, or “chasing and running” because these patterns influence our happiness and our ability to authentically connect with others. The attachments we form early in life dictate not only the quality of our adult relationships, but the security and health of them.

And, how they play out for us throughout our lives.

Most of us know the basics of a push-pull relationship. Many of us have probably been in one at some point in our lives. Chasers…


How to minimize these bad habits to maximize your relationship.

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If we look at a building in terms of its construction, then a solid foundation is going to be the most important part. Any building that has a secure base is going to last. It’ll thrive. And it will endure.

On the flipside, anything that’s made from shoddy materials, a poor foundation, or half-assed effort is going to be unstable. …


#4 is the biggest red flag we often ignore.

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I was asked to write this. I know there’s an ongoing need for this information to get out — to give everyone a voice who may have gone unheard earlier in their lives out of “respect” (fear) of their elders.

Some of us grew up in an era that minimized a child’s choices or their voice. It seems that an entire generation was conditioned to recognize “The Look” of their parent’s raised eyebrow…


Understanding narcissism and the formally recognized NPD subtypes

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Have you heard of an amorous narcissist? Hey, if you haven’t, you’re not alone. With so many catch-phrases and trending words out there nowadays about what a narcissist allegedly is, and how to supposedly identify one, it can be tough to keep up.

Jump online and do a search on narcissism and you’ll quickly fall down a rabbit hole: Grandiose. Exhibitionist. Closet. Devaluing. Covert. Fragile. Overt. Malignant. Inverted. Sadistic. White Knight. Somatic. Cerebral. Sexual. Vulnerable.

Now, amorous?


Is it really a female disorder?

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Maybe you know someone who fits this bill: they’ve battled feelings of depression, anxiety, emptiness, anger, fears of being left behind, and impulsive behavior for years. Maybe you’ve watched them destroy their healthy relationships, and settle for a toxic relationship as the stamp of their self-sabotage.

You may have heard them say they never felt like they fit in. They may seem socially awkward — vacillating between being…


There’s one type that is the most insidious.

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Have you heard of a rollercoaster relationship? The rollercoaster is one of the most common, and most emotionally toxic relationships we can experience. Yet, like a masochistic moth to the flame, we’re addicted to its heat.

Up. Down. Up. Then, down for another crash.

No, they’re not only found in intimate relationships, although this is where we usually first spot the cycle. …

Annie Tanasugarn, PhD

Psychologist. Board Certified Behavior Analyst. Certified Trauma & Addictions Specialist. Specializes in BPD, cPTSD & emotional/behavioral addiction.

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